THANKS to feedback from the readers of my last column, How to keep your man interested, I got the idea for this week. Thanks to @sexiscorpyo and @Mz_DenDen for your suggestions.
Men, this one’s for you. Women may seem like overly complicated creatures, but I think if we get a few things right, they are willing to put up with our nonsense. So here are my dos and don’ts for you guys when dealing with the ladies.
* Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, and saying it before to get sex, during to make the sex more exciting, or after to make her feel good, is a bad idea.
* Women like humour and compliments, however, don’t combine these two things. When you’re complimenting her, don’t make jokes about how she looks.
* Don’t ask her if she faked it, you do not want to know the answer. Leave well enough alone.
* Don’t breathe down her neck, ask her every move, or attach the GPS tracker to her car. We don’t like clingy women and they don’t like clingy men. Again, if you both like this, then do your thing.
The lying game
My first instinct is to say sink with the ship, as Shaggy said, “It wasn’t me.” Most times this works if you continue to act like she’s crazy and use the reverse psychology card. MOST TIMES. However, there will be that time when something inside you clicks and she has that “I know and you know I know” look in her eyes, and you’ve got to come clean. Be sure you know the difference, is all I have to say.
* If she asks you what you think of her in the outfit and you know she looks horrible, don’t say she looks horrible, but don’t allow her to go out like that either. Tell her you love seeing her in something else you know she looks good in, and encourage her to wear it “just for” you. TRUST ME on this one.
*If she catches you looking at another woman, don’t deny it. She already knows you were looking — women have ‘Spidey Senses’ when it comes to this. So say something like, “did you see her? You need to tell her how to get your legs babe!”
Out of the blue
*Women change things all the time and I am not sure why they don’t realise we’re completely oblivious to these things and won’t notice the change unless it’s an engine in the car or a new 60″ TV in the living room.
So guys, just compliment her randomly. “Love you hair today.” “Are those new shoes?” “That nail polish makes your toes sexy.” Throw them out randomly a few days in the week. It will work wonders.
*Send messages. Win her heart by messaging her for no reason. Send a BB, Whatsapp, or for those who still text, send a message just saying “Hi!” and check in on her. Or better yet, pick up the phone and call. Note: Add a smiley face or heart to your notes for extra points.
*Take your time. I think this speaks for itself. When she’s happy, the whole world is happy.
*When you break up with a girl, leave it there. Going back and trying to turn it into “friends with benefits” will more than likely only make it worse. If you must, two or three times is the limit after the break up before it gets awkward.
*Aint nothing wrong with a little chit chat in bed. Express yourself. Talk di tings!
Confidence is key
*While women love confident men, grabbing your crotch constantly is not attractive to her, nor does it cause her to think you’re packing a lot of luggage. She will just wonder if you have an “issue.”
*Confidence is important. If you dilly dally in asking her out or expressing how you feel, you’ll end up the friend zone, or as I like to call it, the “why bother” zone. Women find confidence sexy — not over confidence.
* Keep yourself groomed. No woman wants a man whose nails are dirty, whose toenails rip up the sheets, or who smells like he just came in from a long day at Riverton. Have some pride. Looking good will translate to feeling good and up your confidence level.
The ex factor
*Stop comparing her to your ex and your mom, this is like boarding the Titanic — it’s going to sink. Even if you think it, keep it inside or ’til you reach roun yuh bredren dem.
* Do not put down your ex in front of the new woman to make her feel better. All she will think is, “what will he say about me if we break up?” or “So why was he dating a ho in the first place?”
* Running into the ex with her there can be tricky. If she is your girlfriend (guys you know what I mean) then you better grab her hand or get close to her or there will be hell to pay for the rest of the day/night. If she isn’t, the choice is yours, so choose wisely.
* Tag team: When you see a girl in a group with her friends and a few of them look “approachable”, choose one. Do not try to pick up more than one of them in the group. They are in a group so they TALK to each other. Not to mention this will haunt you like a rolling calf.
* Group excursions: No one understands why they go to the bathroom in groups or what happens there, just live with it. Know that if one of her friends is going, she will most likely leave whatever you two are doing and go with her friend. Accept it and move on.
Be helpful and handy. Fix the hinge on a door, screw in the outside bulb, change her tyre. Women love this and it also helps you get out of other things when you’ve messed up. It’s like a Get Out of Jail Free card.